Adding Fruit to Your Sex Life

…Fruit of the spirit that is.

I am sure that adding physical fruit to your sex life would be fun, but that’s a post for another day!

Galatians 5:22-23 says this: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

So Lets see what those might look like:

Love. This one should be present from the start. And as your marriage matures, love deepens and becomes more rich and enjoyable, expressed in many ways, from the physical to the mental and everything between. Try loving with actions. With words. With a look. With a gesture.

Joy. What is real joy? I think we mistake entertainment many times with joy. Joy could mean celebrating the normal, the mundane in your life. Being content with where you are (not complacent), but appreciating the person you have married fully without expectation of perfection.

A home without strife. A place where a husband and wife realize they are together, battling the issues of life, not each other. Its easier to be peaceful when you accomplish difficulties together.

Patience. I don’t do things like she does. She doesn’t do things like I do. Being ok with both of those, and being grace-full enough to allow differences. ¬†Developing patience could mean¬†Slowing down before responding. Breathing. Thinking things through.

Kindness. The tendency is to lose our kindness over time because we become complacent, or take one another for granted. We move so fast through life that we forget the small kind things we could do for our spouse. Start with kind words (Never belittling or saying a negative word about them to their face, or behind their back).

Gentleness. When I think gentle, I think grace. Being able to give grace, because I have been given grace. Lowering expectations. Gentle doesn’t mean weak, or passive. I believe there is strength and power in being gentle – not forceful.

Faithfulness. Faithful in all areas. Mind. Soul. Body. Thoughts. We have a high bar to try and meet, because our God is faithful. Jesus was faithful all the way to death. That’s what we should strive to be.

Self Control. Not being selfish. Not demanding my own way. ‘Holy Spirit love,’ as our friend Doyle says, ‘is outward focused, not self focused.’ That means the fruit of the spirit has to be present for my self control to happen. I can only control myself with the help of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has to help my spouse control themselves, because I am NOT the Holy Spirit!

Any of these resonate with you?


photo by Martin Kimeldorf