You know how NOT making a decision is actually making a decision?
The best decision we NEVER made was this:
No TV in our bedroom.
We just never had one in there.
What an awesome blessing it has been!
We have two options: Sleep or Engage with one another (ie. Sex).
Bob DeMoss says “I am convinced that the simple decision to unplug TV [even] for just one month has the power to revolutionize our relationships with our spouse, our children, our world, and most importantly with our God.” Great Thought Bob.
We have been known to cut out TV for a couple months during rerun summer. No Cake Boss or Americas Got Talent.
Its amazing the things you enjoy when there is no tv!
Apply that to your marriage bedroom.
Wow. No TV in your bedroom? Think of all the things you could be enjoying together!
Really.
So, for a better sex life, do this: Toss the TV out of your bedroom.
You’ll thank me later.
This concludes our Broadcast day.
Originally posted March 2009
photo byKevin Steele
Stu & Lisa have been married 8 years (together 11) and have a heart to encourage couples in their marriages. They live in Middle Tennessee, have an awesome 6 year old, and a mutt named 'Boo'.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
That sounds like great advice! I can't imagine how distracting a TV in the bedroom must be (we've never dreamed of having one in our bedroom). A TV sounds like a perfect way to keep from communicating or doing “other important stuff” before bed.
Absolutely! We have a big mirror my family picked up in Spain hanging where a TV might otherwise be – on purpose. :-0
This is a great post, Stu! I have to admit that we have a TV in our bedroom, and we always have. In fact, it's the only time we really watch any television. We much prefer to lay in bed and watch a show together rather than sitting out on the couch in our living room. We also do most of our reading in our bed.
I'm not sure that it's been a real distraction for us, but I'm going to talk to my wife and see if we want to try some “no TV” nights to find out!
We are with you 100%. We take this another step and that is no electronics in our bedroom. No laptops, no cell phones, nothing that could interrupt the quality/intimate time in our bedroom.
Great post Stu. Thanks.
Our bedroom is a no electronics zone. It was how I was raised and when I moved in with Gary, it was something very important I asked for. No TV. No netbook. No electronics.
Granted, we have our cell phones, but they're just phones, not internet accessing, so there's no email or “Hey, I just want to check Facebook before we call it a night.”
This is so important and I'm thrilled that you brought it up. Our bedroom is a haven and one of my favorite places on earth. Our evening ritual is an hour of reading before we go to sleep, not an hour of channel surfing and I love it.
Hey Kathleen! yeah – we have found that in general the TV limits communication – but we are so glad that we never put one in the bedroom!!
Very Cool Gina!!
Hey Dustin –
TV – for us, has been a communication killer – because we get so wrapped up in a show – we don't think about talking or anything else…and then it's 11'oClock!!! So, we have found that limiting TV in general to be a great communication starter.
Thats a great idea Tony.
I don't know how well that will go over with my wife – she keeps the cell close by in case she gets a call from family in the middle of the night. (Not that that has ever happened, but you never know!! lol)
HAVEN.
Love that word. We just repainted our bedroom, after being in our house for nearly 5 years…We had worked in every room but the Master …finally, we are enjoying our “haven” a bit more than we used to!!
I like the idea of the evening ritual as well…we do that with our kids..why not with each other too? Good stuff!
We've had the same rule throughout our marriage: no TV in the bedroom. With the exception of the occasional football game, I stopped watching TV altogether a few years ago, and have never regretted it.
However, the computer has definitely taken its place, and perhaps I ought to apply the 30-day fast rule to the internet as well! (I think I'd start twitching in withdrawal pretty soon, though!)
So true, Stu! When I was a single mom after my first husband divorced me, I decided to go without a TV…great decision for me and my son. Once I remarried, my Beloved and I decided that it would never be good for us to have a TV in our bedroom (or our kids' rooms). I agree with you wholeheartedly that a married couple's bedroom (and bed) need to be sacred ground…a place for restful sleep and authentic sexual connectedness. I can't speak for other couples, but I know for us that if we had a TV in our bedroom, it would be a hindrance to our oneness. Thanks for the great post!
I'm going to take a different direction with this – sort of.
For many years, we did not have a TV in the bedroom, and it was a very good and marriage building choice for us. For years a TV would have been used as an excuse to not talk (which we needed to do a lot of) or to not have sex (which we needed more of). Fortunately we have worked past those things.
Now, for us, a TV is one more way we can do something together. We don't get any stations – in fact the TV does not even have a converter box – we use it to watch TV shows and movies via NetFlicks. This means we are in control of what we watch, and when. We pause to discuss the plot, or to get a snack, are even to “Engage with one another” (we call it intermission, and there is nothing like hearing “kill the TV, I need to have you now!). We can watch with a little clothing as we like, and as we watch we can touch, hug, rub feet or backs, or whatever else we like.
So, for us, now, in our current situation, it's a plus. For much of our marriage it would have been a very bad idea. You have to know yourself, and your spouse. And when in doubt, toss it out!
….or your wife sits in the living room to watch TV until she passes out asleep.
I agree overall. Its a good rule not to have a TV in your bedroom. When we first got married, I refused to have a TV in the bedroom. Eventually (YEARS later), I relented cause it didn't make any difference. I think it CAN make a difference for some or a lot of folks though.
….or your wife sits in the living room to watch TV until she passes out asleep.
I agree overall. Its a good rule not to have a TV in your bedroom. When we first got married, I refused to have a TV in the bedroom. Eventually (YEARS later), I relented cause it didn't make any difference. I think it CAN make a difference for some or a lot of folks though.
That is about how it was for us Paul. We couldn't afford a second TV for many years and our bedroom wasn't big enough for one anyway. We have one there now and watch a movie together a couple of times a year ( of course no antenna and no cable ). I think it has been more than a year since we watched a movie. We aren't much into watching movies or TV. We have had a VCR and now DVd so the kids can watch movies in our long winters. We have not had an antenna on a TV (anywhere in the house ) for more than 20 years and never had cable or satellite. Been too busy; I don't know how we'd ever have time to watch TV.
I have been married 20 years and have 3 kids, we still have no TV in the bedroom…We also have sex at least 3 nites a week and I wouldn’t change it for the world!
WooHoo! Thanks for the comment DomesticEngineer! (Love your title by the way!) – Stu
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