I love Christmas. Its a great time of year for family, getting together, Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks (just had my first one of the season this weekend!), and gifts.
My wife and I differ on ‘gift giving’—she is one who likes to give experiences not stuff. A trip together would be a better gift, in her mind, than say, diamond earrings. I’m the opposite, I like getting stuff. I don’t connect with experience as much as I do a physical gift.
No matter what your gift-giving style is, this time of year is a great reminder of the gifts we should be giving throughout the year, and if it takes this particular season to help us remember what we need to be doing more often, that’s a good thing.
Here are 6 gifts you can give your spouse all year long:
The Gift of a Listening Ear
Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t finish sentences before your spouse is done speaking. Open the ears and close the mouth.
The Gift of Engaging
We are a generation always connected, or always on the go. Disengage with your technology and engage with one another. Pick a night, a day, a weekend, a week, where the only gadgets you play with are each other.
The Gift of Time
This is related to engaging. If you are two people who seem to only pass in the hallway and exchange scheduling of who is taking the kid where, perhaps you should schedule the time to spend with one another. My wife and I have started a weekly lunch date. It’s been awesome.
The Gift of Grace
We tend to be hardest on those we are closest to and the one we share our life with—our spouse. We become numb to who they are, the newness of our relationship is no longer present, and we feel that we can say and do anything, because the only egg shells we have are “The ones he left in the sink this morning, why didn’t he put them in the trash?!” Instead of jumping on them immediately, give them grace. Be gentle in your approach and see what happens.
The Gift of Touch
Not sexual touch, though it may lead there eventually. Just regular touches through the day. Find opportunities to hold hands, touch a shoulder or the small of the back. Kiss more often—if just little pecks.
The Gift of a Smile
When you are at that Christmas party, and you catch the eye of your spouse, give them a smile. Then, remember that feeling throughout the year. Practice the smile often.
What are some other gifts you like to give throughout the year?
Stu & Lisa have been married 8 years (together 11) and have a heart to encourage couples in their marriages. They live in Middle Tennessee, have an awesome 6 year old, and a mutt named 'Boo'.
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I try to write a quick love note to my wife every day (sticky notes are perfect for this!)
Thats a cool quick way to show love Matthew – Great idea!
I really like these gifts-anyone can do them and we all so desperately want them from our spouse. How about the gift of being respectful during a fight?
That is a great addition Jennifer!! We totally should be more respectful of each other during a fight. Good call!
If more people would esteem giving intangible gifts, as you have stated, higher than the giving of material matter (which really doesn’t matter at all), then our world would be on its way to a great revival…sort of speak
Every morning I send my wife an email with words of encouragement for the new day and my prayer for her for that day. I also thank her for the time we had together the previous day. I try to send this early enough that she will find it when she checks her email for the day.
David – Very cool about the daily prayer for your wife. Lots of husbands feel intimidated to pray for their wives. Great idea!
I would second the gift of touch by saying that the stress of this season is tough to handle, and sometimes during the day, I daydream about my husband coming home and just leaning into him with his arms around me. It just melts the worries away! I should do this more often than I do now. This is especially important to me since it seems to be my love language, so it might not mean quite as much to others!
i would say the gift of gratitude. my husbands love language is words of affirmation and early in our marriage it was very challenging for me to express love to him in his love language, i decided to make a game of it and try to tell him “thank you” every time he did something for me or just something for anyone, as I’ve done this over time i have come to find myself just feeling deeply grateful to him for all he does and i no longer have to look for things to say thank you, i see them everywhere. and really being grateful is just as much a gift to myself and to our children as it is to him. i love all of your suggested gifts btw
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