Now that my son is four, we have begun to butt heads more often. There is more attitude, more defiance, more whining and selective listening. (Can you say ‘TALKING-TO-A-WALL?’)
When he bulls up, I bull up. When he lowers his eyebrows to put up a fight, so do I.
Beautiful Wife to the Rescue
The one thing my wife says that completely changes my perspective?
“You have control over your feelings and emotions. He’s 4, and he doesn’t understand that yet. You are the Dad, and the Adult. You don’t have to fight with him.”
As a Dad, as a husband, as a man, as a human being…I am in control of me and my emotions.
Not only that, I am also in control of my thoughts and my actions.
This knocks me upside the head – and I start to feel stupid for reacting the way I do sometimes with my son.
I have to take personal responsibility for myself. I can’t change anybody else but me.
There. I said it.
Sorry for the bait and switch. I said I would tell you the key to changing other people. Hang around, it could still happen.
We really can’t change other people. All we can do is change ourselves.
But if you listen to what Speaker Jim Rohn says: ‘If you change your self, the world will change’ - maybe others will change. Or at least…seem to change…if you work on yourself first!
Changing Requires Responsibility
You, my friend, are responsible for yourself!
Other people do not control you or your thoughts. Your actions or emotions. You do.
We have all heard the phrase – “its not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you that matters.”
Its true. It may be trite – but if you take the time to work thru it – it makes a huge difference.
You can’t change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change you. You are in charge of that.
That means YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. When you change – when you realize that you AREN’T a victim – and you can actually make the decision to get angry or not – to be happy or not…
Its amazing, but Others will seem to change right before your eyes.
Photo by Victoria Peckham