Stupendous Marriage Show 73: Here Comes Valentines Day

Here comes Valentines Day guys! Talking about that plus initiating sex with your spouse.

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Here Comes Valentines Day


Back from Indonesia – Here is a link, if you are interested in Sponsoring a child in Indonesia. Click on ‘Sponsor a child’ on that Facebook page!

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Segment 1:

A Listener writes that his wife won’t have sex, and she thinks that he is crazy for desiring it. Lisa’s Post about Wives Initiating Sex. For others, you can check out our friends Julie Sibert and Paul and Lori Byerly…Not only this topic – they cover lots of related issues in their writing that would be helpful for husbands and wives!!

Segment 2:

Man Up Men for Valentines day! – Plan something for your spouse! Scott Means writing at Surrendered Marriage offers this thought on his blog. (This post has ideas if you can’t come up with anything right away husbands!)

Segment 3:

Scott also offers this for the wives – lower the expectations and offer these things to him on Valentines day…


Send us a Message for an upcoming show. If you want to call, here is that number: 615-267-3733

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— Stu Gray (@stugray) September 3, 2012


 photo from freedigitalphotos



  1. Great to have you guys back on. It sounded like a great opportunity for you Stu.

    1. Thanks Jose – It was amazing to say the least. Very eye opening and humbling. I can’t believe how blessed we are, and how much I take for granted.

  2. I had to laugh at you talk about the expectation of sex after date nights. As the parents of a 3-month-old, my husband and I have discussed how going on a date now means we WON’T be having sex. If we manage to get out for a date, there’s no way we’ll have the energy when we get home. To my husbands credit, he takes me out anyway! When he does, he puts a sizeable deposit in my love bank, and thought it may be DAYS before he can cash in on it, I’m looking forward to it as well.

    1. Hey Sarah – that is so true with little ones at home, I remember that time well – it wasn’t that long ago for us. They say to sleep when the baby sleeps right? Maybe thats a time you guys can take advantage of sometime!! 😉

  3. I just listened to this episode, and sorry to say, was very disappointed in it. The listener who told how his wife had convinced him that he was wrong for wanting to have sex with his wife? Your advice was pablum. “Look to yourself, be more romantic, do more outside the bedroom to win her affection.” I’m sorry, but she is his wife. He shouldn’t have to “win her affection”. I’m sorry, but sex is not a commodity in marriage to be doled out if one is a good boy and engages in choreplay.

    You didn’t tell how long this man had been married, didn’t go into the specifics of his marriage. However, I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that they were, at a minimum, approaching 20 years of marriage, and that frequency was measurable by weeks or months, not days. And I bet the mantra that he hears is “Sex all you think about!” And, of course, the cure is “Well, maybe if you were more romantic, I’d want to.” Always the evanescent “maybe”.

    I’m sorry, but when a man stands before a minister, and promises a woman love and fidelity, he should not be rewarded with celibacy.

    1. Hey Chuck!

      Thanks for your thoughts, and using the word ‘pablum’ – that’s a great word. Here’s the deal: We don’t always get the “full on” details in emails we receive. We read what we get, and answer based on the info provided. We aren’t counselors, we are encouragers. Perhaps in this episode, our thoughts are exactly worth what you paid for it. 🙂

      You are absolutely right about not signing up for celibacy in marriage. Yet, the wife did not write to us. He did. We can only address his behaviors and not his wife. We only hear one side of the story.

      Thanks again.

  4. It’s sad how couple can start to grow apart, especially after having a child. The child comes a priority and the relationship suffers. Couples should look at making the relationship priority first, beause they will then be in a stronger place to bring the child up in a positive and supportive environment.

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